


Always in the Twilight

by SpaceDarling_and_GrumpyCat



Series: Klance Oneshots [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Blood, Mentions of Death, Romance, Tears, klangst, mentions of Allura, mentions of Pidge, mentions of Shiro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-16
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-05-24 03:57:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14947137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceDarling_and_GrumpyCat/pseuds/SpaceDarling_and_GrumpyCat
Summary: Lance is pretty sure he did something wrong.Keith's avoiding him, no one is telling him why, and to be honest, it's starting to get on his nerves.So if he's going to fix whatever he broke, he's going to have to find that mullet-headed asshole and figure out what's going on, before he loses his mind.And if he happens to have feelings for said asshole, well, they had better not get in the way.





	Always in the Twilight

**Author's Note:**

> Hoooo boy, this is something else. It started out as a way to get frustrations out, and then evolved into a war to see who could get the other to cry more, haha. Of course, we weren't actually trying to do that, it just ended up that way. Just a warning, this is almost purely angst. There is almost no happy parts except for the very end, so at least we accomplished that! We hope you guys like this. We put a lot of our own emotions into it.
> 
>  
> 
> ~Blaine + Que
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy, and Merci~

Lance didn't usually get upset, it wasn't his style.

When someone he cared about did something that annoyed him, he'd generally just  _ tell _ them, and then he’d move on. He much preferred to just forgive and forget. Sitting and stewing wasn't for him, and neither was exploding.  It honestly only left him feeling drained.

But right now, he was fucking pissed.

_ Where is that stupid ass idiot with his stupid mullet? _ Rounding the corner sharply, the man glared down yet another hallway, but the target of his search was nowhere to be found.  Lance felt his hackles rise once more. No, he was  _ not _ going to give up; he was going to get this over with. He was sick and tired of that attitude that that asshole Keith had been giving everyone over the past few days.  He was tired of the man ignoring him and trying to run whenever he got close.

At first, Lance had thought he had done something wrong, but when he looked back at his actions, he couldn't think of anything. Even Shiro had been confused by Keith's antics, and if the man's brother-in-everything-but-blood didn't know what was wrong, then how the hell did he expect  _ Lance _ to know?

Storming down another hallway, the brunet ground his teeth together and tried not to let that lingering worry crowd his mind. This was just Keith being a moody asshole; he hadn't screwed something up. Right? But what if he had?  _ No, stop it, just get him to tell you what's wrong. Don't make it doomsday.  _

It wasn’t until the brunet looked up that he saw that he now stood in front of Keith’s room.  The door was, of course, closed. He knocked lightly, but he knew that the noirette wouldn’t be there.  He’d already checked this room, twice. Despite that, despite Lance’s instincts telling him to turn and keep looking, he put his hand against the scanner and entered the room.  Just as suspected, the broody male wasn’t there.

Lance let out a frustrated breath and fought against the need to scream.

As he glared around Keith's empty room once more, Lance unintentionally slammed his palm against the scanner.  _ And yet again, the moment I actually work up the will to do this, he just vanishes. Great. _ Bubbling and stewing in his own fear that he'd somehow said the wrong thing or pushed Keith a little too far, Lance found himself walking towards the first place he'd checked and the only place that the man could conceivably be.

Sometimes, he wondered why he even put himself through this torture. Okay, that was unfair, it wasn't torture when he finally got Keith to laugh, and that rush of blood from every battle they took part in together left him on cloud nine. But this unease in his chest, that he could do without.

It had been growing for a while now, the stupid flutter when the noirette looked his way, the gentle look Keith got when his mind drifted to far off times drew Lance's eyes, and yeah, the feeling like he needed to be careful, otherwise he'd ruin something. Logically, he sort of knew what it was, but he kept shoving it down because... Well... There was no way. Just because he had a tendency to flirt with people didn't mean he wasn't realistic as to his actual chances with someone he actually liked.

So when Keith started avoiding him, after a battle that they'd totally dominated, might he add, Lance had been crushed. However stupid that feeling was, he couldn't help but wonder, 'Had he crossed a line?'

But finally, frustration had overridden that fear. If he'd screwed up, fine. He'd just laugh it off and get on with things, but Keith was upset, and he wasn't going to just watch his closest friend sulk like that. Not when they were stuck in the same castle. There were only so many dark corners to pout in, Lance reasoned, and Keith was running out.

_ Maybe if I can get him to just say what's wrong, things can at least go back to normal. _

As he drew closer to Red's hanger, Lance found himself muttering under his breath, trying to work out what he was supposed to say. "Hey Keith, what's up buddy?" No, too nice. He was angry, remember? Not some insecure kid who couldn't talk to people.  _ But you are. _ No, he wasn't.

"You're going to tell me what's going on, now." The mumbles were accompanied by a scowl that faded into a groan. "Ugh, I sound like an idiot." He always sounded like an idiot.  _ Always. _ Especially to Keith, who was already avoiding him. Why did he even bother trying?

It wasn't like Keith was going to say,  _ Oh hey Lance, yeah, I'm being a moody asswipe because of these reasons, but I'm over them now! _ Even getting a simple hello had been impossible; hoping for literally anything more was foolish.

Without really thinking, Lance muttered softly, "Hey Keith, I think I might be in love with you so when you ignore me like this, it really hurts. But I'm an idiot, and you can do better than me, so why am I even telling you. Can we just go back to normal please?"

He wanted to hit his head against a wall several times.

God, he was just so tired of this stuff; he wanted it over, and he was angry and upset and just... hurt.

It's just- It wasn't fair that it had to be Keith. Anyone else would have... Well, not necessarily been fine, but Lance would have been able to get over it. Because if it had been Shiro or Allura he was hopelessly head over heels for, they would have rejected him a normal way. They'd have said no, and maybe been nice about it, but it would have been  _ alright _ .

But Lance could just see the confused look that would come over Keith's face, miffed as to why someone like  _ Lance _ would even  _ think _ he had a chance. And then it would turn into cold discomfort as the noirette shifted away. He probably wouldn't even get upset; he'd just avoid the brunet from then on. That was Keith's way, and it would hurt so much more than a simple no would.

_ Which is why, _ Lance reminded himself, clenching his hands at his sides.  _ I'm not going to say a word, even if it kills me. _

He’d find Keith.  He had to. And then he’d get the truth out of him.

~

Keith wasn't trying to be a dick. He really, truly wasn't. To be honest, Keith couldn't exactly put a finger on what was pissing him off so bad.  Even then, it didn’t really feel Keith was pissed of at all. It was like, after they had gotten back from that mission, something had taken over his mind, and his thoughts had become too loud, too rowdy. They slammed against his skull with enough force to crack it. If only they would; that way, he wouldn't have to deal with this overwhelming sense of unrest in the corners of his brain.

Keith continued to pace around inside Red's cockpit. It seemed like the only place he could go to avoid the probing stares of his friends, the angry worry that penetrated Lance's eyes…

No. He wouldn't go there. He didn't need to focus on that gaze. He didn't need to go over the imminent sense of rejection that seemed to follow Keith everywhere whenever he felt like he was getting too close to the blue eyed male. It was too...infuriating to feel like you have something only to have that feeling stripped from you in the next moment.

Keith supposed it was his own fault. He was the one too afraid of rejection to actually admit to his own feelings.

There was a rumble in the confines of Keith's mind, and he felt the growing concern of his lion.

"I know, girl. I'm being stupid." Keith plopped down into the pilot’s seat and sighed. "I should just tell him, shouldn't I?" Another rumble, and suddenly, Keith was being ejected from the cockpit and into the hangar below.  _ That's her answer, I guess,  _ he thought as he struggled to his feet, his tailbone screaming at the impact of falling to the ground from such a height.

Keith stood there for a moment, catching his balance and stared at Red. He glared at her before throwing up his hands in defeat and turning around. He couldn't hide out in here forever.  He knew that. Eventually, he would have to come out and deal with the chaos that seemed to follow him everywhere. Ever since that fight. The thought if it caused Keith's insides to roil around like some creature had made it's nest there and had grown too large for comfort. Realistically, Keith knew what that feeling was.

Taking careful, quiet steps, Keith made his way to the door of the hangar. His hand hovered over the scanner, feeling that creature rear it's head, sending a wave of nausea up his throat. If he went out there, he would have to be ready for those stares, those questions. He'd have to be ready to explain the reason behind his avoidance. But could he really do it? Could he really admit that seeing that had torn his heart apart?

Could he tell the other just how deep-seated his fear of their death was?

He would have to...there was no avoiding it.

Keith took a breath and rested his hand against the scanner, the door opening with a soft  _ woosh _ .

_ It’s now or never. _

Despite telling himself that he was going to face anything that came his way, Keith found himself in the same spot, unable to take a step forward. Half of his brain told him to move, the other half told him to stay right where he was because one sudden move could be his downfall.

How could he possibly do this? He was setting himself up for rejection. He was digging his own grave. There was no way Lance felt the same intensity of feeling that Keith did whenever they were in close proximity. There was no chance that every move Keith made caused Lance to have to swallow down a lump of pure "I'm attracted to this person ". It was only Keith feeling that way, he knew it.

And that's why he was avoiding the issue? No, not really. Keith was avoiding it because if he actually told the brunet how he felt, that would be it. It would be real. And he honestly didn't want it to be. Lance could have his pick if any girl they could find on any planet. There was no way that Lance would fall for a guy. It just...wasn’t realistic.

The hand that was still against the scanner closed into a fist and it took all of the noirette's willpower to not slam that fist into the scanner. He didn't need to break it, as much as he wanted to. He took his hand away and let it fall to his side.

If he was really going to do this...what would he even say? "Oh, hey Lance, seeing you almost die tore my heart to shreds because I'm in love with you, and being parted from you would destroy me body and soul"? Keith snorted. Of course, he couldn't say that. Things didn't work that way. This wasn't some fairy tale where all they had to do was confess their love and everything would end up happily ever after. This was the real world. And things were never that easy.

He let the hangar door slide shut quietly, standing there, utterly defeated.

The hydraulic hiss of a door closing brought Lance's head up sharply. Hurrying his footsteps, pushing all of the depressing, stupid thoughts away, the man skidded around the final bend and found the door to Red's hanger closing tight.  _ Oh, heck no, you don't. _

"Oh no, I'm not doing this!" he announced, not caring if he came across wrong. "Mullet, I swear to all that is holy, I will rain down fire on your ass if you try to run away from this again!"

Keith heard the muffled yell of his friend, of Lance. He blinked twice in quick succession.  _ Oh, no. Not...not now, Lance... _ The noirette shuffled backwards, turning on his heel to run and hide behind one of Red's legs. On his way, the sole of his boot slid on the slick surface of the hangar, sending him sprawling onto the floor. Struggling to pick himself up to his feet, Keith heard the hangar door slide open.

Keith turned his cesious eyes toward the door, panic filling up his throat. In the doorway stood a panting Lance, his cerulean eyes filled with worried anger, just like Keith thought they would be. "Lance, please. I can't--"

"Can't what?" Lance snapped, staring down at the man on the floor. He had the  _ nerve _ to look terrified, when Lance's insides were currently turning to gelatin.  _ It's your fault I'm in this position; it's your fault that I can't sleep at night. Don't look at me like that, Mullet. I'm not strong enough to stand up to you when you do. _ Frustrated pain dancing on his lips, the brunet continued, "Go on, tell me, Keith, what can't you do? Can't talk to me, because guess what, I already know that. You've been avoiding me for  _ days _ !"

Keith flinched at that. Clenching his fists, determined not to back down, Lance spat, "I know you, Keith, you aren't a coward, so why have you been hiding in  _ here _ of all places? How do you think that makes you look? How do you think that makes Red feel?"  _ How do you think that makes me feel? _

Keith opened his mouth and closed it again, once, twice before he gave up and stared up at Red. He could hear her concerned rumble in the back of his mind, the way she told him to just tell the truth, but he couldn't. He just couldn't admit to all of the pain circling inside of his mind, his gut.  It was all too much.

"Lance, please, just listen to me..." he began, but that didn't sound right. Keith couldn't listen to Lance, so what made him think that Lance would listen to him? "I just...I'm sorry that I've been avoiding you! I'm not...I didn't mean to!"

But that wasn't true, of course he had meant to. Otherwise, he wouldn't have done it. Keith never did anything unless he absolutely meant to do it, and if the pained expression on the brunet's face was any indication, he knew that as well.

Keith used Red's leg to pull himself to his feet, but he stayed where he was. He didn't want Lance to be any closer to him. He wouldn't be able to resist the magnetic pull those blue eyes held, that the man himself seemed to carry around with him. Keith had always been drawn to Lance, even way back when they were still in the Garrison together. Maybe that was part of why Keith left in the first place, but the noirette knew that that was just an excuse. That's all it ever was.

Keith was tired of using excuses, and he could tell that Lance was tiring of hearing them.

"Lance...just...its all..." The noirette put his hands to his face, the gloves he wore scratching against his skin. Sliding his hands upward, he carded his fingers through his hair and tried to take a breath. He was scared...terrified, even, of what Lance was going to say.

"I'm sorry."  They were the only words that Keith could think to utter that would make sense.

Watching the man rub his face repeatedly as he whispered those two words, Lance wished he could take that pained expression out of Keith's eyes. But at the same time, he thought of all the fear and pain he'd felt those past few days, and knew that he couldn't just back down.

"All what, Keith?" Lance asked, his tone tight, the emotions as controlled as he could make them, even though his mind was a mess. "Sorry for  _ what? _ " Bitterly, he pushed out, "Don't pretend you weren't avoiding me, man. I know you better than that. I just wanted a reason why. I just- I don't like seeing my friend upset."

If he put extra stress on the word “friend”, it was only to remind himself that friends was all they would ever be.

He sort of expected Keith to answer, at least try to explain why he'd done what he'd done, but the man didn't say a word. He just stared at the floor, unmoving. As the injustice of it all boiled up in Lance's gut, he threw his hands in the air. "So this is all I'm going to get, huh? Really?"

Furious, but mostly with himself, the brunet muttered, "I get it, I- I screwed something up." The moment he'd said the words, he just sort of knew they were true. Feeling his own eyes suddenly migrate towards the ground, Lance threw his head up in defiance and stared at the ceiling. "I know, I'm always screwing things up. I probably said something, that's it, right? Me and my big mouth, right? Always was an idiot."

Pressure building in his head, the man snapped, "But could you at least  _ tell _ me what I did, Keith? Please? I never meant- I don't want to hurt you."

A moment of defeated silence.

"You're my friend."

_ His friend. _

That's all he was to Lance, and Keith knew it. The emphasis on the word only sharpened the impact in Keith's heart. The more Lance said, the less Keith felt like he knew what was going on inside his own head. Part of what Lance said made the noirette want to pull the man into his embrace and sooth all that worry away, and the other half of it made Keith was smack the brunet across the face for even  _ thinking _ that he did anything wrong. He  _ hadn't _ , that was the thing. Lance had done nothing, and Keith had projected his need for companionship onto the other. He didn't deserve what Keith was putting him through.

He stayed silent for a few more beats, trying to get his mind, heart, and gut to stop waging all out war on his emotions. Keith needed to figure this out, if not for himself, then for Lance, so that he would just stop hurting the brunet more than he already had.

Grinding his teeth together, Keith closed his eyes and put his head in his hands again, needing to get those blue eyes out of his head so he could just  _ think. _ "I was avoiding you," Keith ground out, and even he could hear the pain in his voice. "I was afraid of what would happen if I got close to you. I don't know why. I can't figure it out. I'm so confused and my head is telling me to listen to my heart and my heart is saying listen to my gut and my gut says listen to my head and  _ I can't fucking think! _ "

The noirette paused. He tried to catch his breath.

"It's..you haven't done anything, Lance...its all me.  t's all on me. I have no right to even be near you when I can't even figure out my own fucking issues."

Lance stared at him, and his mind went blank. "No right to be near me?"  _ No right- _ "No right, to be near  _ me _ ?" Whipping his head down so he could stare at Keith in disbelief, Lance demanded, "What is  _ that _ supposed to mean? That you're avoiding me for  _ my _ own good? Do you have any  _ idea- _ "

Then the rest of what Keith said hit Lance, and he shut up, swallowing his words rapidly as his thoughts caught up to him.  _ Scared of what would happen if he- He got close to me. _ Keith was scared of him. He was fighting it, sure, he was telling Lance that it wasn't his fault, but the brunet wasn't so stupid that he couldn't see through bullshit when he saw it. Of course, it was his fault; of course he'd managed to scare off Keith when all he wanted was to just…

_ Just be a selfish asshole and think I have even the slightest chance with Keith. Yeah, I already know. _ Hands falling to his sides, Lance muttered, "I'm sorry, Keith, I'm sorry for- For whatever I did wrong. You don't have to cover for me, man." He managed a weak sounding laugh. "I can take it, promise. I just- Don't beat yourself up over something you didn't do."

Taking a step back, the pain in his chest growing, Lance continued, "I mean, hah, we- we're just friends ,and I probably crossed a line at some point. I'm not too good at keeping track of things like that; I tend to make stupid mistakes." Rubbing at his heart, as if he was going to make it stop stuttering, Lance shook his head and pulled what he hoped was an understanding smile onto his face.

"I’mma send Shiro down; maybe you can talk to him. He's a lot better at this than I am, after all. And besides, you probably don't want to be around me."

It hit him harder than any physical blow could, the pain in Lance's eyes, in his voice, the way he tried to smile despite the amount of pain that was apparent in his expression. And it was all Keith's fault.  _ He _ had put that pain there.  _ Keith _ was the one destroying Lance in that moment.

The noirette watched as Lance took a few unsteady steps back.  _ No...please, don't. _

Lance turned around, and at the mention of Shiro's name, Keith's feet suddenly flew into action. Stumbling forward, one boot squeaking against the floor, Keith surged forward, one gloved hand flying forward to grab onto Lance's jacket. His balance already disrupted by slipping on the floor a few seconds earlier, Keith went tumbling into Lance's back, and he was thankful that the brunet had better balance than he. Keith gripped Lance's jacket harder than he'd held onto anything in his life.

"No," Keith whispered, his voice catching in his throat on that one word. "Don't leave...I don't need Shiro." He thumped his forehead against the taller male's shoulder and sucked in a breath, the scent of Lance permeating his restless thoughts to the point that they actually settled slightly, giving way to a small glimmer of understanding. "I don't want you to go..." His voice felt so raw in his own ears. "I didn't want to hurt you, and that's all I've done...I'm so sorry, Lance."

Frozen by the hand on his back, Lance tried not to inhale, tried not to catch the sharp, precise scent of Keith that hit him. Tried not to focus on the way his jacket bunched up where the noirette had grabbed it, tried not to think about the way the man's hair tickled his neck when Keith leaned against him. Tried not to let his heart jump at the way the man was practically begging him to stay.

Tried, and failed.

Unable to turn around, sure that if he did he wouldn't be able to even think, Lance softly said, "Keith, you  _ haven't _ always hurt me, you don't hurt me, man. I- I'm just an idiot, okay? It's not your fault at all." Voice sticking in his throat, Lance took a deep breath and repeated, "I'm sorry for not respecting your boundaries and stuff, I never wanted you to feel like you had to- to avoid me for any reason. If you tell me to back off, it's not going to hurt me." It would, but Lance would get over it.

Because that's what you did. You didn't force yourself on someone, and you definitely didn't hurt them. All you could do was move on. "You're my teammate, and my friend, Mullet," Lance insisted, his eyes falling to the floor. "I care about what happens to you." Drawing in a deep breath, as if he could soothe the man behind him as well, the brunet said, "So just... Tell me what's wrong. Please."

Keith let out a short groan and shook his head, his forehead rubbing against the material of Lance's jacket, causing his bangs to bunch up to one side. He gripped Lance's jacket a little harder. "No..." he whined. "It's not your fault...you didn't do anything..I'm the one being dumb. I'm the one that can't figure out my own issues, and I'm pushing all that on you."

The noirette sniffled, another wave of Lance's scent entering his nostrils. Why did this guy have to just smell  _ so good _ ? It was probably because of Lance's "Beauty Regiment" but still.

Lance wanted Keith to tell him what was wrong...but how could he when he couldn't even figure it out for himself? How was he supposed to explain the pain he felt at seeing those little blips of the heart monitor fade to nothing, the pain he felt at the chance of losing Lance forever? How could he? It would only hurt Lance more.

"I can't...explain it, Lance," Keith muttered, trying to blink away the tears that entered the corners of his eyes at the memory of those beeps fading to silence. "It's not that you didn't respect boundaries or anything bullshit like that. I avoided you...for...to..." Every time he was about to say it, Keith's gut squeezed, and he felt like he would throw up. "I..." He groaned again, this time shaking the man in front of him a little. "Why can't you just take it and accept that it isn't your fault? It's all mine."

Despite the amount of effort he used to try and blink the tears from his eyes, they just kept growing, kept falling. His nose was starting to run, a telltale sign that he was about to start crying for real. He felt the spot where his face rested against Lance's shoulder get wetter with every tear that was spilled. The noirette just wanted to leave all this be...but he knew that he couldn't. He knew that he'd have to admit to this eventually. But right now, it would only make things worse. He knew it.

_ He- he's crying... _ Lance's heart broke. Insides clenching painfully, the man said, "I can't just accept that it's your fault when you didn't even do anything." He wanted to turn around and  _ hold _ Keith so badly, but if he did, what would that do? Would it only make things worse? Against his shoulder, Keith shuddered, and the wet patch grew.  _ No, please stop, I can't do this. _

Lance hadn't ever seen Keith this weak, not in a long time. He'd been with him through thick and thin, but the tears and the helplessly confused words were just too much for him to handle. Keith could be angry, he could be upset, he could even be hurt, but he wasn't  _ allowed _ to act like this. Not when Lance was having a hard enough time holding himself back.

Because deep down even though Keith  _ insisted _ that this wasn't his fault, Lance knew that he was the cause of the man's tears. Keith was so upset that he couldn't even  _ articulate _ what was wrong, and that was the brunet's fault.  _ My fault, all my fault. _ As his mind sunk deeper, Lance lifted his head and tried to put on a show of strength.

"Avoided me why, Keith? To do what? For what? Just tell me what happened, okay?" It was almost impossible to inject a note of false hope into his voice but he managed. "Whatever it is, I promise we can get over-"

"NO!" Keith found himself wailing, shaking Lance again, pulling the brunet closer. Keith wasn't sure why he was acting this way. Well, to be honest, deep down he knew. He just didn't want to say it. Because there it was again, that fear of rejection. "If you remember, it's just gonna hurt you! It's just gonna fuck things up even more than they already are!" The noirette fought back against the sobs that were starting to work their way up his throat. "I can't...deal with this...I don't...want you to hurt anymore..." Keith managed to stutter out through hiccups and sobs, his tears flowing freely. He could almost feel the red splotches that worked their way across his cheeks.

Lance snapped. Spinning around, the man grabbed Keith by the shoulders and shook him, glaring at him as he yelled, "Tell me! Just  _ tell _ me, asshole, don't pretend to be the bigger person by not saying a word because you're not! You're just- you're..."

Keith's face was a mess. Tears streaked his cheeks and hair clung to his skin wetly. His big eyes that Lance often found himself getting lost in were bloodshot and red, their color clouded with pain and anguish. Yet there was avoidance in his posture, and Lance could feel the way the man naturally tried to get away so he doubled down, unwilling to let this go.

"Remember what, Keith?" Digging back to when this had all started, right after they'd won that battle, Lance wildly guessed, "The battle? The fact that Shiro only commented on how well you'd done? The fact that I got shot by that last asshat that we missed?" Remembering the injury and the way he hadn't particularly cared that his consciousness was fading because well, they'd  _ won _ , Lance shook Keith again and demanded, "Just tell me!"

Everything in Keith rebelled against telling the brunet the truth. Everything inside his mind told him to spare those blue eyes from more pain. But as Lance shook him, stared into his eyes and demanded he tell the truth, Keith felt like he was going to break. To be honest, something in him  _ did _ break, because he felt that small line of control he had over his words shatter into a thousand pieces, falling to the floor just like his tears.

Keith shook himself out of Lance's grasp and stumbled backwards, the words bubbling up in his throat until he saw the way his avoidance broke Lance's façade of control, and he saw the brunet's face crumble into pain.

"You...You almost died, Lance!" The words tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop them. He looked down at his hands, and he could remember the feeling of blood, Lance's blood on them. "I SAW YOUR HEART STOP FOR OVER A MINUTE!" he wailed, his gaze flying to Lance's face, which had gone white with shock. "I had your BLOOD on my HANDS!" He flew towards Lance again and grabbed onto his sleeves, tugging against them, the words falling from his lips in short bursts. "I ALMOST LOST YOU, OKAY!?" His legs gave out from underneath him, and he fell to his knees, his head bowing forward while he kept a strong grip on Lance's sleeves, forcing the man to lean forward before him. "It's… not… something you just... _ get over _ ," Keith finished, his mind defeated, his heart in pieces. His hiccups calmed, and his sobs faded to nothing, but the tears kept falling.

Keith couldn't look at Lance. He didn't want to see that pain in those gorgeous blue eyes anymore...he just wanted all of it to end.

Maybe, if he'd been a different person, Lance might have been shocked. Almost  _ dying _ sounded pretty serious, right? But as he stared down at Keith, at the broken man who was crying for him,  _ for him, _ the brunet could feel the pain that Keith was feeling, and  _ that _ killed him. Because he  _ had _ been the reason for the noirette's pain, and Keith had felt like he couldn't even tell Lance because he was afraid of hurting him more.

"Keith," Lance murmured softly, his voice tremulous. When the man's hand just tightened on his sleeve and his shoulders shuddered, the brunet found his own insides crumbling. Breath coming in hitching gasps, the man found himself falling to a knee as he choked out, "K-keith-"

He wanted to stop himself. He was crossing a line, crossing several, but he still reached out, still brushed the hand Keith didn't have hostage over the noriette's blotchy cheek. As his own eyes burned, Lance murmured, "Mullet, I- I'm fine. I didn't forget getting shot, okay?" His voice sounded thick, and he felt like if he so much as blinked, he'd break. "But that's how this works, man, sometimes you get hurt, but it's all for the greater good though. It's not like the world would end if I died."

Keith choked out another sob. Really? Did Lance really value himself that little that  _ dying _ wasn't a big deal to him? Sure, Lance had been seriously hurt once before, and that had shattered Keith, but he'd been  _ okay _ . This time...

"It...it may not  _ end _ for the others...but...it would be the end of  _ my _ world, Lance," Keith stuttered out through panting breaths. His chest hurt, his eyes burned, and he couldn't get enough air. It was like everything around him was crumbling to pieces, and he couldn't stop it.

The noirette leaned slightly into Lance's touch against his cheek before pulling back. He was taking too many liberties in that moment. Lance didn't feel that way for him, Keith knew it. He shouldn't take advantage of this. He couldn't. He picked his head up slightly and looked at the man before him, kneeling in the same way he was, his face close enough to see the little flecks of dark grey in Lance's eyes. If Keith didn't know any better, he would have thought he saw tears gathering in those beautiful, calming eyes, but there was no way.

"It would be the end of mine..." he repeated, feeling utterly defeated.

As the tears started to fall, Lance gave up trying to pretend he wasn't dying inside. Just the sensation of Keith leaning into his palm before jerking back was enough to tip him over the edge.  _ Fine, if it's going to hurt anyway, then I don't care anymore. _ "Keith, I don't  _ care _ about myself," Lance said, the words tripping off of his tongue like they couldn't wait to escape him. "I don't care if I get hurt, as long as the rest of you are fine. I'm not important like you... Or- or Shiro! or Pidge! I'm just Lance, okay? If I died, you'd move on."

But Keith kept on shaking his head, and as Lance's own breathing became unstable, he clamped his mouth down around the words that fought to get out.  _ Stop doing this to me, Keith, stop pretending like I matter any more than anyone else here does. _ Pulling back his hand, the brunet covered his face with his arm and let out a muffled curse. Pushing himself away from Keith, even as the man stared at him with those gorgeous, tear-filled eyes, Lance cleared his throat and struggled to get in a decent breath.  _ God, it's not going to get any worse at this point, just say it. _ He didn't have to wonder what his mind was urging him to say, because in that moment, it was obvious.

"I'm sorry... For scaring you," Lance said softly, his eyes sliding closed, pushing more tears down over his face. "But... if it hadn't hit me, that shot would have hit you. And I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if that happened because I-" His throat seized up. "I kinda..."  _ I can't do this, I can't do this- _

"I love you, Keith."

For a moment, there was dead silence, and Lance felt what was left of his heart shatter.

"But! I'm- I'm being an idiot again! What else is new? Guess I can't be awesome all the time, huh, Mullet?" Laughing, even though he was still crying, Lance said, "Don't beat yourself up over what happened, man, no point in it. You're worrying the others." And then, even though every movement hurt, Lance quickly got to his feet and attempted to stumble away.

The shock that entered Keith's mind was enough to make his restless, crazy thoughts stumble to a complete stop. Lance...loved...him? No way. That had to be just like...a "Bro, I love you" kinda thing. There was no way--

But before Keith could even register what was going on, Lance was backing away from him, tears flowing freely down his face even though he was laughing. Because that's what Lance did. He laughed his pain away. Keith knew that. But...He couldn't just...let things go like this. He couldn't let Lance go, without telling the brunet the truth.

"N-no," Keith whispered as Lance took a few stumbling steps away from him. "Lance, no!" he said more determinedly. Lance wouldn't listen to him. The thought almost made him laugh. When did he ever listen? Keith put his hands against the floor and shoved himself to his feet. Despite the pain he felt in his head, in his heart, he stomped forward and grabbed onto Lance's sleeve again, swinging the taller man around. He wasn't sure what he was doing, why he was doing it. But Keith put his hands on either side of the shocked face of the only man he'd ever held feelings for and yanked him closer.

The kiss the noirette planted against Lance's lips was full of desperation, full of fear and love, and his heart was filled with the one thing he was most afraid of. Rejection. He knew it was coming. Keith knew he shouldn't have done this. But at the time, it seemed like the only way to get the infuriating Cuban to  _ stop walking away. _ Keith's grip on Lance's face softened and he angled his lips to fit more snuggly against the other’s. He didn't feel Lance pulling away, and it gave him a little bit of hope.

Keith yanked himself away from those lips and the intoxicating  _ taste _ that was Lance and tried to push all of his feelings into his eyes, trying to show just how he really felt. The next words he spoke were full of confidence and conviction, and he wasn't sure how he was able to sound that way.

"Lance. If you died, I would, too. My heart would break and I'd be dead, because I can't live without you around. You're important." He shook the brunet's head a little bit. "You're  _ fucking _ important. You're the glue that holds this team together. When I left, YOU were the one that stepped up and took Red. You're the one that brought everyone back together." Keith sighed and he realized he was no longer crying. Even if Lance had only meant what he said in a friendly way, Keith sure didn't. "Lance, you stupid, idiotic, infuriating man. I love you."

Stunned, unable to think past the taste left on his lips, Lance opened his eyes and stared down at Keith, at the man who he'd somehow fallen for irreparably and had brought so much more out of him than he'd have ever thought possible. Moving his hands forward, slowly at first, then quicker as Keith started to pull away, Lance caught those slender wrists and said, in a voice full of everything that he couldn't comprehend, "You mean that?" The question evaporated as he saw the powerful feeling in those cesious eyes. "You mean that."

Without even really thinking about it, he jerked those wrists and caught Keith as he tumbled against the taller male. Wrapping his arms around him, tears mixing with real, relieved laughter, Lance repeated, "You mean that, you  _ mean _ that." Pulling back ever so slightly, Lance fiercely said, "You mean the world to me, Keith, I don't  _ care _ about what happens to me, just as long as you're safe.  I love everything about you, the way you dress, the way you act without thinking, the way you sulk and the way you laugh at me when I do something stupid. I love you, I even love that stupid mullet of yours. God, I  _ love _ you Keith."

Then he leaned in and caught the man's lips in another kiss and just drank in that wonderful, heady sensation of Keith not pulling away and not running because  _ he wanted this too _ . It was almost too much for his mind to handle, and yet he sank into that feeling, never wanting to let it go.

"I'm sorry for worrying you," Lance murmured against Keith's lips, his fingers somehow finding themselves tangled in the back of the man's jacket. "I saw you avoiding me, and I got so scared that I'd done something wrong, and you hated me or just felt awkward and didn't want to speak to me again. I got so  _ scared, _ that I ended up getting angry at you for it." He let out another soft laugh. "Sort of ridiculous, now that I think about it."

Keith shook his head quickly, a small smile forming on his lips that still tasted of Lance.  He soon found his hands underneath Lance's jacket, against Lance's hips. He pulled the man closer and whispered, "No, its not.  I was angry...at myself, for not telling you about the mission, for not watching my own back when I should have...for separating myself from you to the point that it almost destroyed both of us."  He paused, his eyes dropping from Lance's oh-so-blue ones to land on the man's lips again. He wanted to kiss him again. He felt like he couldn't get enough of it. He felt like if he didn't kiss Lance again, right then, destiny would take it as a sign that they weren't meant to be and would rip them apart.

As amazingly wonderful the feeling of not being rejected was...there was still so much that needed to be addressed.   _ It could always wait for later. _  But...if they waited, they would never talk about it.  They needed to talk about it. If they didn't... but the pull was too much.  Keith found himself leaning forward again, catching the Cuban's lips once more, this kiss soft and slow, full of the promises that were never spoken.  Full of a need that Keith felt so deep in his soul that it almost consumed him.

Allowing himself to be pushed against the wall of Red's hanger, Lance let out a low laugh and said, "Easy there, Keith, in front of your Lion?" Not that he was about to fight the peppered kisses that the noirette kept bestowing on him. His fingers wove into the longer strands of Keith's dark hair, and he reveled for a moment in the feeling, before there came the sounds of footsteps somewhere above them, and he forced himself out of the daze Keith had put him in.

Finally, just tightening his hold on the man and firmly crushing Keith against his own chest, Lance said, "Are you sure you want me?" Maybe he was pushing his luck, but he had to make sure. He didn't want to hurt Keith, not emotionally, physically, or in any other way. "You're not gonna wake up tomorrow and realize what a loser I am?" He chuckled. "Cause, trust me, I'm pretty.. Well, I mean it only took one bullet to almost kill me. I'm not exactly the best out there."

Keith caught his breath, trying to exhale all of that need out of him.  Where the hell had that even come from? He mentally shook himself and let Lance tug Keith against his chest.  Wrapping his arms around the brunet's waist, he inhaled Lance's scent. At first he was scared that if he didn’t, he would never be able to have it surround him again, but that was ridiculous.  Of course, he would.

"Yeah, you're a loser," he whispered, and he felt Lance stiffen but he chuckled and continued, "But...I could never feel this way towards anyone ever again.  And that bullet was millimeters from your heart. That would almost kill anyone." Squeezing the taller male's waist, Keith muttered, "I want you, Lance. Only you...as long as that's what you want, too."

Despite the lovely feeling he was surrounded in, Keith's heart still sank at the thought of Lance rejecting him.

Catching that look in Keith's eyes, the one that suggested there was a lot more running around in his head than met the eye, Lance's eyes softened, and he pulled back an arm so he could hook a finger under the man's chin and tip his head up. "Keith, I am completely and unconditionally head over heels for you, and nothing would make me happier than if you were to agree to being my boyfriend."

He wanted those eyes to be the first thing he saw in the morning, and that voice to be the last thing he heard at night. He wanted to be able to stare lovingly at the man without worrying that he was doing something wrong, and be able to casually touch him without fearing the consequences. He wanted to be the reason for Keith's smile, and the person who could dry the noirette's tears. More than anything, he wanted to be able to love the man, and know that he was loved in return.

And even though he couldn't begin to say that, he tried to pour it into his eyes so that maybe Keith would understand.

Keith smiled up at Lance again and felt his heart skip around like one of Allura's mice.

He knew they still had a lot to talk about and they would, but right now, they'd gone through enough pain and confusion to address it right now.

The noirette quirked a brow and smirked.  "If I was gonna say no, do you think I would kiss you?   _ Like this _ ?"

And that's just what he did. He pulled his hands from where they had been resting against Lance's back to grab onto the other's jacket.  He pulled the brunet forward and kissed him once more, another soft, slow kiss that spoke volumes, that called forward all of the emotions that he couldn't speak.  A kiss that held promises of the future.

As Keith slowly pulled away, and gave Lance one of those killer smiles that stole his heart, the brunet chuckled shortly and admitted, "I'd hope not." Rubbing the back of his neck, Lance lifted his hand and caught one of Keith's with his own. "Because trust me, I'd only act like this with you."

Above them, Red let out a sound that even Lance heard, and it made Keith snort. "Thanks, girl," Lance said, smiling up at the Lion. "Between the two of us, we'll actually get this one straightened out." Keith shoved him. "Hey, I meant that in a good way!"

"Idiot," Keith huffed.

"Only for you~" Lance hummed, earning himself an eyeroll. Pulling the man's hand, he softly said, "Come on, let's find some food. I'm starving."

And as Keith laughed and Lance did as well, the two of them walked out of Red's hanger because right now, the future actually looked kind of alright.

**Author's Note:**

> See ^^^^^^ it was a happy ending after all! Yay us!


End file.
